तुम अगर सभी सुख दो तो वो तुम्हे दुनिया के सारे सुख देगा

2:25 AM

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तुम अगर सभी सुख दो तो वो तुम्हे दुनिया के सारे सुख देगा

अपनी सहेलियों मां और चाची से ये बात हमेशा सुनती आ रही थी

लेकिन असल में कमी कुछ और थी

35 साल की उम्र में मेरा विवाह हुआ ये काफी लेट समय था और जिससे मेरी शादी हुई उसकी उम्र 37 साल थी

पहले लोग शादी जल्दी करने पर जोर देते थे, लेकिन आज लोग पहले करियर बनाने के पीछे भागते हैं

कम उम्र में हुई शादी आप को आपके पार्टनर और परिवार से घुलने मिलने में ज्यादा आसान होती है

लेकिन देर में हुई शादी में लोग इतने ज्यादा जटिल हो जातें हैं की वह अपने आप को नए माहौल में ढाल नही पाते

35 की उम्र में शादी होने से वैसे हो शरीर में कामवासना खत्म हो जाती है

रही सही कसर 37 साल के पुरुष के अंदर भी नही बचती

बचती है तो एक बात वो है साथ,

जब मेरी शादी हुई तो मुझे पता था जिस व्यक्ति से मेरी शादी हो रही है वो काफी कम कमाता है, पर 35 साल की उम्र होने पर मेरी मां को भी काफी चिंता होने लगे थी क्यों की मेरे पापा की मृत्यु समय से पहले हो गई थी

मैने घर वालों से बात की तो लोगो ने बोला शादी करो नही उम्र निकल जाएगी

सहेलियों से बोला तो उन्होंने बोला रात को बिस्तर पर पति को खुश रखो वो खुद मेहनत कर के ज्यादा पैसे कमाएगा

सबकी बातों को ध्यान में रख कर मैने शादी कर ली,

लेकिन शादी के बाद पत्नी के साथ साथ एक पुरुष की जिंदगी में एक और चीज आती है जिसे हम जिम्मेदारी के नाम से जानते हैं

जिनसे मेरी शादी हुई थी वो इस बात को जानते थे की मैं शादी से खुश नहीं हूं क्यों की उनकी आय कम है

शादी के पहली रात उन्होंने मुझसे कहा, देखो मेरी आय कम है उम्र ज्यादा है इसका मतलब ये नही है की हम दोनों साथ में खुश नहीं रह सकते

मैं तुम्हे सभी संसाधन तो नही दे सकता लेकिन इतने जरूर दे सकता हूं की हमारी जिंदगी अच्छे से चले और उस रात खाली यही बात हुई,

ऐसे ही करते करते 20 से 22 दिन बीत गए पर हम दोनो के बीच पति पत्नी वाला रिश्ता बना ही नही शायद उन्हें मन में मलाल था की वो कम कमाते हैं जिसकी वजह से मैने उन्हे मन से स्वीकार नहीं किया हैं

फिर सहेलियों से बात हुई सबने फिर वही बात कही, उन्हें रात में खुश करो और वो खुद तुम्हारी जरूरतें पूरी करेगा

महीने के अंत में उन्हें वेतन मिला 25000 रुपए, जिसमे से 5000 रुपए वो भविष्य केलिए रख कर 20000 मुझे दिया और बोला मेरी जरूरतें काफी सीमित है, ये पैसे तुम रखो। अगर मुझे जरूर हुई तो तुमसे ले लूंगा

तुम अपने हिसाब से घर देख लो पर जब मैंने हिसाब लगाना शुरू किया तो पैसे कम पड़े जब मैने इनसे इस बारे में डिस्कस किया तो वो बोले थोड़ी दिक्कत हो सकती है लेकिन मैं दूसरी नौकरी के लिए ट्राय कर रहा हूं

ऐसे ही करते करते शादी को 6 महीने हो गए और हमारा झगड़ा हुआ, मैं बोलती और पैसे कमाओ वो बोलते जो हैं उसमे एडजेस्ट करने की कोशिश करो

बात इतनी बढ़ गई की मैं अपने मायके आ गईं और मन बना लिया की अब इसके साथ नही जाना

उन्हें ने कई बार मुझे बुलाया मेरे घर आए लेने

थक हार कर मैने भी बोल दिया जिस दिन आप अच्छा कमाने लगेंगे उस दिन आजाना लेने आप तो अभी पूरी तरह से मेरा खर्चा भी उठा नही पाते

ये बात उन्हें बहुत बुरी लगी, क्यों की गुस्से की वजह से मेरा बोलने का लहजा भी खराब था

लेकिन इस बार उस इंसान के गिरबान को चोट पहुंची थी , वो वापस तो गया लेकिन कभी लौट के नही आया

बल्कि उन्होंने अपने वेकील से फोन कर के बोला की अगर तुम मुझसे अलग होना चाहती हो तो हो सकती हो

जिसे जान कर मेरा गुस्सा और भड़क गया मुझे लगा को जो इंसान मेरा खर्चा नही उठा सकता वो मुझे छोड़ने की धमकी दे रहा है,

मैने भी बोल दिया नही रहना है,

हमारी हियरिंग हुई, जज ने पूछा, तो उन्होंने स्पष्ट बोला, sir मेरी तनख्वाह कम है, जिससे इन्हे आपत्ति है

और मैं इन्हे खुश नहीं रख पा रहा हूं, और ना ये मेरे साथ खुश हैं, किसी इंसान को जबरदस्ती खुश नहीं किया जा सकता है मेरे बस में इससे ज्यादा कुछ नहीं कह सकता

हर इंसान को अपनी खुशी चुनने की आजादी है

जजों ने मुझे समझाया की एक बार रिश्ता में खटास आजती है तो जिंदगी खराब हो जाती है तुम चाहो तो एक नई शुरुवात कर सकती हो, पैसे कम है लेकिन इतने भी नही की तुम्हारी बेसिक जरुरते पूरी ना हो सके

लेकिन इगो की वजह से किसी की नही सुनी और कुछ समय बाद मेरा तलाक हो गया

तलाक के 6 महीने मैं घर पर थी लेकिन उसके बाद एक नौकरी की, अब मेरी उम्र 37 साल हो गई थी और मैने नौकरी करने का निश्चय किया

नौकरी पर आने पर पता चला की कितना मेहनत का काम है

और ये भी पता चला की डिवोर्क्सी लड़की के आगे पीछे सब घूमते हैं, मौके का तलाश करते हैं की कब मौका मिले और इसके साथ कुछ करने को मिले

काम अच्छा हो तो आप की कोई तारीफ नही करता लेकिन अगर काम में कमी हो तो ऑफिस से लेके जूनियर तक पीछे पड़ जाते हैं

मेरी तनखवाह 15000 की है अब समझ में आने लगा था की नौकरी करना कितना कठिन है कुछ भी चाहो लेकिन हमारे हाथ में कुछ नही है

अब जिस 15000 के लिए मुझे 10 से 6 काम करना पड़ता था, लोगो की हरासमेंट का सामना करना पड़ता था

पहले उससे ज्यादा घर बैठे 20000 मिलता लेकिन अब काम करने के बाद 15000 मिल रहा है ऊपर से दिनभर की मेहनत

एक पुरुष अपने परिवार की कमी को पूरा करने के लिए दिन रात मेहनत करता है लेकिन हम औरतें सिर्फ ये सोचते हैं की कैसे हमारा काम पूरा हो

लेकिन आज उसी शक्श की नौकरी में तनखवा 86000 रुपए है

मैने ये गलती की रिश्ते को पैसे के पैरामीटर के पर तोलने लगी थी लेकिन है सही नही था

यदि प्यार से समझती तो हमारा जीवन भी आगे अच्छा चलता

आज के दौर में लड़किया किसी लड़के से शादी करने से पहले ये जानना चाहती हैं की लड़का कितना कमा रहा

लेकिन असल में किसी से शादी करने से पहले ये जानना जरूरी है की उसका चरित्र कैसा हैं

शादी जैसे बंधन को चलाने के लिए जरूरी है आपसी सहमति, समाजस्य और विश्वास लेकिन आज मेरी तरह सभी लड़कियां अपनी शादी में सबसे पहले ये देखती हैं की लड़का पैसा कितना कमा रहा है लड़किया तो लड़किया उनके मां बाप भी यही देखते हैं

एक अच्छा रिश्ता पैसे की दम पर नही चलता है।

मुझे ये बात तब समझ आए जब मैंने अपना रिश्ता खो दिया

किसी अमीर से 4 बात सुनने से बेहतर है की किसी कम आय वाले के साथ शादी कर के साथ खुश रहने में आनंद है

ये एक सत्य घटना है आप बताइए आप के हिसाब से रिश्ते चलाने के लिए पैसे कितने जरूरी हैं

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If I invest 11K in SIP for the next 15 years, how much will I get after 15 years?

3:59 AM

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Tips for All

 If I invest 11K in SIP for the next 15 years, how much will I get after 15 years?

Great question! Investing in a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) is like planting a money tree. But, before we get too carried away with dreams of lounging under a tree that sprouts cash, let's dig into the details!

What is SIP, Anyway?

Think of a SIP as a disciplined way to invest in mutual funds. It’s like going to the gym regularly but for your wallet. Instead of dumping all your money in one go (and hoping for the best), you invest a fixed amount every month. In your case, that's ₹11,000 every month for the next 15 years.

How Much Will My ₹11,000 Turn Into?

Ah, the million-dollar question (or in this case, the 11,000-rupee question)! The answer depends on the rate of return. Mutual funds don't have a fixed return like a bank FD; they vary based on market conditions. However, for simplicity, let’s assume an average annual return rate of 12% (which is quite standard for equity mutual funds over the long term).

To calculate the future value of your SIP, we can use a formula. But don’t worry, I’m not going to throw a bunch of math at you without warning. I’ll break it down:

• Monthly investment (P): ₹11,000
• Rate of return (r): 12% annually or 1% monthly
• Number of months (n): 15 years * 12 months = 180 months

The formula for the future value of a SIP is:

FV=P×(1+r)n−1r×(1+r)FV = P \times \frac{{(1 + r)^n - 1}}{r} \times (1 + r)FV=P×r(1+r)n−1​×(1+r)

Plugging in the numbers:

FV=11,000×(1+0.01)180−10.01×(1+0.01)FV = 11,000 \times \frac{{(1 + 0.01)^{180} - 1}}{0.01} \times (1 + 0.01)FV=11,000×0.01(1+0.01)180−1​×(1+0.01)

So, What's the Final Amount?

Drum roll, please... After crunching the numbers, you’ll have around ₹50-55 lakhs (that's 5 to 5.5 million for those who like their numbers in millions)!

Why Does Compounding Feel Like Magic?

Compounding is often called the "eighth wonder of the world" for a reason. It’s like that snowball effect; your returns start earning returns, and before you know it, your investment is rolling into a big pile of cash. The longer you stay invested, the more you benefit from compounding.

A Few Things to Keep in Mind

• Stay Consistent: Just like you wouldn’t quit the gym after a few weeks (hopefully), don’t stop your SIP halfway. Consistency is key.
• Market Fluctuations: The market will go up and down—sometimes like a rollercoaster. Don't panic. Stay the course!
• Review Regularly: Keep an eye on your investments but don’t stress over daily market changes. An annual review is often enough.

So, Is Investing in SIP Worth It?

Absolutely! It’s a great way to build wealth over time, especially if you’re looking to avoid the stress of trying to time the market. Just set it, forget it, and watch your money grow!

Happy investing! And remember, the best time to start was yesterday. The second best time? Right

Interested to Invest Click Here

AMFI Registered Mutual Fund Distributor

Contact at 8360264310

Mutual funds are subject to market risk. Read Documents carefully. 

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Is Quant Small Cap mutual Fund safe for 30 years?

10:18 AM

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Tips for All

Is Quant Small Cap mutual Fund safe for 30 years?

Greetings,

All mutual funds are regulated by SEBI. So, it’s unlikely that someone will run away with your money. But there’s market-linked risk that you cannot avoid. Every fund goes through ups and downs and those who muster the courage to stay invested earn sizable gains. So, the same applies to Quant Small Cap as well.

Besides, if you find a fund underperforming consistently in the future, you can always change it. So, what is important is to keep chaking a fund’s performance in 6 months or 1 year.

In that context, let’s review Quant Small Cap’s performance to gain more insights.

Quant Small Cap is in a league of its own. Its 3-year absolute returns are around 300%. The 2nd best is Nippon India Small Cap with 214% return in the same period.

No wonder Quant Small Cap’s popularity is off the roof. Let’s check what has worked in its favor.

The Background

The fund has a history of over 26 years. But as a small-cap fund, it has operated for just around 5 years. Prior to that, it was Quant Income Bond, a debt fund. In fact, the fund was started by Escorts Mutual Fund. It was later renamed after Quant Capital acquired Escorts Mutual Fund

The Meteoric Rise

From just Rs 2 crore in 2019, the fund’s AUM jumped to Rs 4,100 crore in just 4 years, all thanks to its handsome returns

A key reason for its success is its investment strategy. Stocks in this fund are selected based on Quant Fund’s proprietary VLRT model. The model evaluates stocks on 4 factors: valuation, liquidity, risk, and timing. This sets it apart from other funds in the category. Check details 👉

High Portfolio Churn

Most funds don’t buy and sell stocks too often. Quant Small Cap works differently. It buys and sells stocks more often than its peers. Even some of its top holdings go out of the portfolio in a couple of months

Concentrated Bets

On the face of it, the fund’s portfolio looks diversified with around 70 stocks. But there is a sizable concentration in the top holdings. For e.g., the top 10 stocks accounted for more than 50% in 3 of the last 5 years

High Volatility

The fund's exceptional returns are accompanied by higher volatility. In comparison to the category, the fund is almost twice as volatile.

Key Points To Note

The fund showcases outstanding performance. But it has a relatively short track record. It’s yet to prove its metal in various market conditions. Consider these insights to determine if this fund is suitable for you

Hope it helps

If you learned something new, COMMENT and SHARE the answer to help us reach more readers.

JOIN NOW http://p.njw.bz/39255

This for information. Mutual funds are subject to market risks. Read the documents carefully before investing

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MahabaliPuram Beautiful shops at Sea Shore

4:32 AM

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MahabaliPuram Beautiful shops at Sea Shore

CLICK HERE TO WATCH

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DON'T TRY TO LAUGH - FAILS EPIC COMPILATION

11:38 PM

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DON'T TRY TO LAUGH  - FAILS EPIC COMPILATION

CLICK HERE FOR UNLIMITED LAUGHING VIDEO

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Beautiful Words for Love from Around the World

5:17 AM

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Tips for All

Beautiful Words for Love from Around the World

 There are more words for “love”  than there are languages in the world. Let me explain with an example:

The Japanese language has dozens of ways to say “you”. There are polite forms, very polite forms, impolite forms and downright rude forms.

There are different ways of addressing men and women, immediate superiors, higher superiors, inferior colleagues, male children, female children, your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse. There are even different ways to address a suspected criminal depending on whether they’ve just been accused, are on trial, or have been convicted.

Do all these different words for “you” exist just to annoy foreigners learning Japanese? Of course not. They’re integral to Japanese culture, and they give foreigners valuable insight into an intangible aspect of that culture, namely that status and relationships are very important in Japan.

Likewise, there are many languages that have several different ways to express the concept of love. What do you suppose this says about those cultures?

English has a few different words for different kinds of love, including fondness, affection, and infatuation (though one could argue that not all of these are actually types of love). But when it comes to the word “love” itself, this one word can express all of these concepts and more.

Consider the following English sentences:

I love my husband/wife

I love my mother

I love my best friend

I love learning languages

I love Mondays

No matter what kind of love we’re talking about in English, we can use one single word for it: “love”. This is as baffling to some students of English as all the different forms of “you” are to people learning Japanese.

Why should the concept of romantic love (“I love my husband/wife”) use the same word as parental love (“I love my mother”), or love of an object?

In English, the word “love” has become diluted so that it can be used in place of “like”. In some languages, the difference is very important. Is the English language limited by not putting much value on this difference? Monolingual English speakers would probably say no, but that’s because they don’t have anything to compare it to.

The truth is, the more languages you learn, the more you see the benefit of having various ways to refer to “love”.

Let’s take a look at how some languages express the idea of love. Some languages have just one or two words, like English. Others have many more, and they’re as integral to the culture as all the different Japanese words for “you” are to Japanese culture.

One thing before we get started: you can chat away in a new language for at least 15 minutes with the "Fluent in 3 Months" method. All it takes is 90 days. Tap this link to find out more.

1. Greek Words for Love

Greek famously has four main words for love:

Έρωτας (Erotas) (known as Έρως (Eros) in Ancient Greek): This refers only to romantic love or courtship. You’ll recognize it as the root of the English word erotic

Aγάπη (Agape): In Ancient Greek, this word described a spiritual or charitable love, such as the love that God has for man. This word is used often in the Greek translation of the Bible. In modern Greek, its definition is more broad, and can be used to express love for family or a romantic partner.

Φιλία (Philia): The general word for non-romantic love between equals, such as between friends and family, or love for activities. You’ll recognize this word as a suffix of several English words, such as “cinephile” (film lover) or “francophile” (French language lover). This word isn’t used as often today as it was in Ancient Greek.

Στοργή (Storgé): This is the word used to describe the natural affection that exists between parents and children. This word is also more rare today than it was in ancient times

2. Love in American Sign Language

ASL is a language unto itself. It doesn’t just translate words directly from English into signs, as many people think. ASL grammar is also very different from English grammar. ASL has two ways to say the English word “love” (video credits: Signing Savvy: ASL videos and learning resources):

1. Love for actions or objects (e.g. “I love learning languages”). This word is signed by kissing the back of your fist:

2. Love for living beings (e.g. “I love my mother/spouse/dog”). This word is signed by crossing your arms over your chest and “hugging” yourself:

3. Japanese Words for Love

As you’ve probably already guessed from the introduction, Japanese is a highly nuanced language. This goes for a concept like “love” as well. Though luckily there aren’t as many words for love as there are for “you”! There are two main words for the concept of love, but the usages of each are highly dependent on a variety of cultural factors.

愛 (Ai): Depending on the context, 愛 can be used to refer to several types of love, including friendships, family, and love of things or activities. It’s used as the base for constructing many different love-related words, such as 愛犬家 (aikenka; a dog lover), 母性愛 (boseiai; maternal love) or 博愛 (hakuai; philanthropy).

恋 (Koi): This word usually implies physical or romantic love, though in certain contexts, it can imply a more “selfish” type of love. It’s used in the construction of such romance-related words as 恋人 (koibito; a boyfriend/girlfriend), 恋敵 (koigataki; a rival in love) or 初恋 (hatsukoi; first love).

4. Tamil Words for Love

Tamil is the language of Sri Lanka and two states in India. It’s also one of the four official languages of Singapore. Its roots go back thousands of years, giving it a rich history in literature and poetry.

According to some sources, there are dozens of different words in Tamil to express the concept of love. Here are a few words:

அன்பு (Anpu): This is the general term for love. It can describe romantic love, affection, friendship or devotion.

காதல் (Katl): Katl is reserved for expressing romantic love.

ஆசை (Achai): This is the love you feel when you long for someone.

பாசம் (Pachm): The feeling of deeply connected love. You can use this word to describe parental love, for example.

கைக்கிளை (Kaikkilai): This word probably doesn’t have an equivalent in very many languages. It’s used to express a romantic love that isn’t reciprocated by the other person. It’s a great example of what a rich, nuanced language Tamil is.

5. Spanish Words for Love

While Spanish really only has one noun for love (amor), when it comes to the verb “to love”, there are three different Spanish words to choose from. These depend on context, of course.

Querer: The word querer is the general term to use when you love a person, including friends, family or romantic partners. It also translates into English as “to want”, but don’t let that confuse you. “Te quiero” is not the equivalent of the decidedly un-romantic English sentence “I want you”. It makes more sense to look at the word querer as a homonym having two distinct meanings in Spanish: “love” and “want”. Just like the word “love” in English can also refer to a score of zero in tennis, which has nothing to do with the feeling of love.

Amar: Amar is a much stronger version of querer, and is only used in a romantic way.

Encantar: You might recognize the origin of the English word “enchant” in the Spanish verb encantar. This word is most similar to the English word “love” when referring to activities. It indicates a strong like. If you’d say “I love studying Spanish” in English, then use encantar for the Spanish translation: “Me encanta estudiar español.”

6. Arabic Words for Love

Another profoundly rich and varied language, Arabic has at least eleven different words for love. These range from general terms similar to English, to very specific terms for certain phases of love that you might go through while falling deeply in love with someone. Here are a few key words from that spectrum:

حب

(Habb): This is the general word for “love”. It can describe romantic love, or love for family, activities or objects. You might recognize it as the root of the Arabic terms of endearment habib (for men) and habibi (for women).

عشق

(‘Ishq): When you’re in the “honeymoon phase” of love and are feeling a passionate love for your partner, ’ishq is the word to use. It’s the feeling you have when the initial love you felt for someone has now taken root. In fact, the origin of this word comes from the Arabic word for “vine”. This conveys the impression of the love having been planted in your heart so it can grow into passion.

شغف

(Shaghaf): This word is reserved for an intensely burning love or lust. You can use it to describe being madly in love with someone.

حنان

(Hanaan): Hanaan has several meanings, including compassion, tenderness, and loving care. It’s a common Arabic first name for girls.

7. Irish Words for Love

Irish is the first official language of my home country. People are often surprised to learn that it’s quite different from English, being a Celtic language rather than Germanic. Here are a few of the numerous Irish words to express love:

Grá: This is the all-purpose word for love, which can be used in generally the same way as the English word “love” (for loving people, places, romantic partners, etc.)

Cion: Cion roughly translates as “affection”, such as the love you might have for a child.

Searc: This is used for describing romantic love or “true love”.

Cumann: Use cumann when you want to express the love and companionship that exists between friends.

8. Sanskrit Words for Love

Sanskrit is a classical language that has influenced modern South and Southeast Asian languages at least as much as Greek and Latin have influenced modern European languages. This language has an astounding 96 words for love. Here is just a small sampling of the vast spectrum of Sanskrit words for love.

स्नेह (Sneha): Maternal love or affection.

काम (Kama): Erotic or amorous love. You might recognize this word from the title of the famous ancient text, the Kama Sutra.

अनुरक्ति (Anurakti): Passionate love or attachment.

रति (Rati): This word originally meant to enjoy or delight in something or someone. The meaning has evolved to imply a physical desire or love.

प्रिय (Priya): Meaning “darling” or “beloved”, Priya is a common given name for girls in India and Nepal.

9. Love in the Klingon Language

There’s not much to be said here. The fictional Klingon language, from the Star Trek universe reportedly has no words for love. Close translations include “unhate” and “honour”. What do you suppose this says about that culture?

This is just a tiny sampling of all the different ways there are in the world to express the complex emotions associated with love. If you know of other languages that have multiple ways to describe different kinds of love, or languages whose nuances for love can’t be directly translated into English, I’d love to hear about them 😉

Please Tell me in the comments!

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JOKES- CHUTKULE -COME ON LAUGH- ENJOY

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Tips for All

 JOKES- CHUTKULE -COME ON LAUGH- ENJOY

Santa (Santa) - Doctor sir 2 years ago I had a fever.

Doctor - So what now?

Santa (Santa) - You had refused to take a bath, today I was passing by, so I thought I would ask .. "Now, do I take a bath" ??   

When Santa went to take a job in a mobile company, he was banished after answering the question in advance!

Question: Which is the largest network?

Santa: Cartoon Network!

Santa was hanging upside down on the tree,

Banta asked - what happened?

Santa - Nothing, have taken a headache pill, it should not go anywhere in the stomach. !!!

Santa dials the number after drinking alcohol, then the girl's voice comes "You don't have enough balance to call, please recharge.

Santa: sweetheart you talk to me, that's enough for me.

Santa: This morning a cat cut my way

Banta: Then?

Santa: Then Cat met with an accident. She cannot mess with us.

When Santa went to take a job in a mobile company, he was banished after answering the question in advance!

Question: Which is the largest network?

Santa: Cartoon Network!

Santa And Banta was drunkenly drunk and going between the railway tracks.

Santa: Oh God, I've never climbed so many stairs before

Banta: Hey, the stairs are fine, I am surprised at how low the railing is attached to hold it by hand… ..

A motorcyclist asked Santa to ask for the address….

Excuse me… I want to go to the “Red Fort”?

Santa: If you go tell everyone like this, brother, when will you reach ?

Santa ate half a kilo of jalebi at a confectionery and started paying without any money ..

The shopkeeper said - Hey Jalebi's money.

Santa - money is not there ..

At this, the shopkeeper called his servant and beat him up.

After getting beaten, Santa woke up and said while sweeping his hands and feet - give one kilo more weight at the same rate.

Santa went to the store to pick up his underwear.

The shopkeeper showed him underwear of Rs 300.

Hearing the money, Santa said: Show your daily wear, do not need partywear.

Seeing the new phone in Santa's hand, Banta said: When did you buy the new phone?

Santa: Not new, it's girlfriends!

Banta: Why did you get a girlfriend's phone?

Santa: Everyday she used to say, you don't pick up my phone ..! Got a chance today, got it up !!

Beggar: Baba it is a question of 5 rupees!

Santa: Ask, maybe I know.

Beggar: Faint… ..santa rocks…

Interviewer: How much is your risk taking capacity…

Candidate: Sir I have demanded from God the same wife in the next birth also.

Interviewer: Selected

Sanjana reached for driving license interview for the third time

Officer - If you have a husband on one side and your brother on the other side, what will you kill?

Sanjana - Husband

officer - Hey madam, I am telling you for the third time that you will hit the brakes.

Judge: How did you steal while being a master at home?

Thief: Sahib, your job is also good, salary is also good, then what will you do after learning all this?

Girl gets a call from a boy

Boy: Yes! How much should I recharge?

Girl: What do you think I call every time I need to recharge?

Boy: Then?

Girl: Buy 2 Dresses for me

Boyfriend - Do you know that…. Music has so much power that water can be heated.

Girlfriend - yes of course, why not. When my blood can boil after listening to your song, why not water?

Boy: Doesn't it feel strange to walk around everyday wearing the same clothes?

Girl: This is my office uniform, brother-in-law… (Sala)

girl -

If the clouds thunder

I miss you

From spring

I miss you

Raindrops

Miss you

Boy- I know, your umbrella is lying with me, I will return it back, don't die…. !!!:

Beautiful secretary came out of the boss's cabin angrily ..

Friends asked, "Hey, what happened?" 

Secretary: Fucking was asking whether you arefree this evening? 

Friend: Then ...?

Secretary: When I said yes, then Harami दे gave 60 pages of typing. 

Cashier said to the man standing at the bank's cashier window "there is no money"

Customer: And two Modi escaped with money, all money to Mallya abroad

The cashier pulled his hand out of the window and grabbed his neck and said, "The brother-in-law there is no monry to withdraw in your account."

Tau went to a Hospital for treatment 

Nurse: Take a Long breathe

Tau breathed long

Nurse: How do you feel

Tau: I enjoyed very much which perfume you used?

Bantu: This message has spread on Whatsapp in Punjab that - "Curfew is going to be closed, petrol pumps will be closed, make your cars full" 

All the Punjabi vehicles got stuck in the line,

An old man came and shouted - Hey donkeys, when the curfew is to be imposed, what will the cars will do in your bedroom… then what…

Leaving the pump, the People started getting lined up at Liquor Shop.….

           

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